Old School Honkeys of the NBA: Rik Smits

Back in middle school, we used to play pick-up basketball with this awkwardly tall, slightly oafish looking white guy from Indiana.  Not surprisingly, his nickname was Rik Smits.

The inspiration for my friend's nom de guerre played his entire career with the Indiana Pacers, averaging 14.8 points as the Pacers' second all-time leading scorer.

Although the "Dunking Dutchman" towered 7'4" tall, he only managed to average 6.1 rebounds per game, a career mark matched by other notable centers like Jason Kidd, Clyde Drexler and Luol Deng.

Since his retirement, Smits has been perfecting his awkward whiteness by pursuing a career in competitive motocross and attending Marist College alumni reunions.  

Bonus circle of whiteness:  during the 1989/90 and 1992/93 seasons, Smit suited up alongside Detlef Schrempf.  

[Note:  this post is part of an on-going series highlighting the achievements of painfully-white white basketball players]

Old School Honkeys of the NBA: Jeff Hornacek

It is a tall task to be the most awkward white guy on the court when suiting up with the likes of John Stockton and Greg Ostertag.  Fortunately, Jeff Hornacek was up to the task.

King of the short pants, pride of the pasty thighs, "Horny" was a pure shooting guard.  He shot a career 40.3% from beyond the arc, at one point setting an NBA record for 8 consecutive three-pointers in a single game.

Hornacek is probably best remembered for stroking his face three times before every free throw attempt - allegedly a tribute to this three kids, but a habit that ironically made him look like a child molester.   The creepy routine worked, however.  Horny was a career 87.7% free throw shooter, good for twelfth highest in NBA history.

[Note:  this post is part of an on-going series highlighting the achievements of painfully-white white basketball players]

Old School Honkeys of the NBA: Detlef Schrempf

With an unpronounceable German name and a horrible flattop haircut,  Detlef Schrempf was the epitome of the white European basketball import during the mid-1990s.

Although a small forward, "the Grand Teuton" was  a beast from downtown.  He was a career 38.4% from behind the arc, making an impressive 51.4% of his three-point attempts during the 1994-1995 season.

Not only did Schrempf pave  the way for future Eurotrash superstars like Dirk Nowitzki and Andrei Kirilenko, he also inspired Seattle's Band of Horses to write a love song in his honor.

With the Sonics set to leave Seattle, we have probably seen the last of Schrempf.

[Note: this post is part of an on-going series highlighting the achievements of painfully-white white basketball players]