I am in the process of moving from Boston to Western Mass, which is one of the reasons why posting has been so light as of late. An additional side effect is that I have cancelled my newspaper subscription and boxed up my old Sporting News magazines, all of which has made me dependent on ESPN for my daily sports updates (I am boycotting the Hazel Mae-less SportsDesk).
Now I know complaining about ESPN is both redundant and futile. SportsCenter hasn't been a respectable show in years. Whether its the Coors Light Six Pack of Shouting, the Gatorade Nu-Metal Ultimate Highlight, or the What to Watch on our ABC Family of Networks™ - the show has gone from being a collection of highlights and witty banter to essentially one long advertisement mixed with bloviating pinheads.
To make matters worse, it seems like every few months the suits in Bristol cook up some promotion to try to raise buzz about the show. A couple of months ago it was the "The Greatest Highlight" contest in which ESPN pitted great inspiring sports moments against one another, all of which would have been pretty okay had ESPN not overdubbed the classic calls with Chris Berman and his tired catchphrases.
ESPN's latest exercise in stupidity is its "Titletown USA" contest, in which fans get to choose which city is the best sports city in America. What exactly is the point of this "award"? Is Titletown USA bequeathed a Stuart Scott commemorative booya?
But more importantly, even if this wasn't one giant popularity contest, what would the criteria be to select Titletown in the first place? It seems highly dependent on your favorite sport. Pro football fans will probably gravitate towards Green Bay or San Francisco. College basketball fans will be boosters of Lawrence or Chapel Hill. If you are going by pro sports championships, New York or Boston are the obvious choices. But if intercollegiate athletics are your bag, Palo Alto or Louisville are both reasonable picks.
The most ludicrous inclusion on the list are high school football towns like Massillon Ohio or Valdosta Georgia. Its not that these teams aren't good or their fans aren't rabid about high school ball. But why these programs selected over the literally hundred of other football obsessed small towns? Why not Oak Park, Illinois or Odessa, Texas? Why not De La Salle High School or Carroll Senior High School? Plus what is the message being sent when the inevitable happens and these small towns loose to some pro-sports metropolis? Its as if ESPN is saying "suck it high school athlete, America thinks you are small fry compared to Detroit or Los Angeles."
In the end, all of this is the sports equivalent of the "who would win a fight between a polar bear and a badger?" game (Hint: the answer is Chuck Norris). But what will they think of next - rank classic sports highlights based on cinematography and sound editing? Choose the next great pro-athlete turned pitchman? (Hint: the answer is Hulk Hogan.)
All I know is that I am boycotting this garbage. Even though Boston is on the list (and may well have a legitimate claim given its multitude of pro championships across all four major sports), I refuse to vote in this trumped up popularity contest.
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